Domestic Violence Self-Assessment Survey

Take this self-assessment survey for yourself. Get help if you need it!

Healthy and happy relationships help to make you feel better about yourself. A positive relationship can increase your outlook on life, increase your productivity and increase your self-esteem. Love should make you feel good, safe, and happy about the future. Unhealthy relationships can make us feel unhappy, unsafe, and fearful of the future. Unfortunately many people are in hurtful, unsafe, or violent relationships. It can happen to anyone i.e. mothers, wives, students, teachers, celebrities, and even you. You do not deserve to be hurt. Domestic violence has no race, ethnic origin, creed or age limit. We all get angry sometimes, but when we do, we all have choices. We can choose to express ourselves in healthy ways. In healthy relationships, partners help each other feel good about themselves. Insults, unkind words, and humiliation are very hurtful; they are disrespectful and make you feel badly about yourselves. In loving relationships, partners respect each other's needs. Being jealous or trying to control someone else does not show love. In healthy relationships, partners care about and respect each other's sexual needs and limits. Forcing or hurting someone in a sexual way is physically and emotionally damaging. It's wrong and it's against the law. In healthy relationships, partners help each other feel loved and safe. Hurting someone physically is never okay, it doesn't solve anything, and it's against the law. Violent behavior and fear make a person feel unsafe. In order for children to know they are loved, they need to feel safe, too. In healthy families, partners share the care and responsibilities of the children including the fun ones as well as the difficult ones. They create a safe and secure home life for the family. Hurting children is never okay, and it's against the law. Children can be removed from a home where they are being abused. In healthy relationships, partners feel proud of how they have learned to express caring for each other. In relationships that are unhealthy, abusive behavior may become dangerous. Even if your partner apologizes and promises that it won't happen again, it is likely to get worse. Nothing you say or do should cause your partner to hurt you.

Do you and your partner communicate with respect and consideration? *

Yes

No

Do you talk openly about your feelings and tell the truth without fear? *

Yes

No

Do you listen to each other's ideas? *

Yes

No

Do you solve problems and disagreements together? *

Yes

No

If you answered yes to these questions, you may be feeling that your relationship is healthy and happy.

Does your partner …

Constantly criticize you, call you names, or put you down in front of other people? *

Yes

No

Threaten to harm you, your children, your family, pets, friends, or her/himself? *

Yes

No

Blame you for everything that goes wrong? *

Yes

No

Lie or break promises to you a lot? *

Yes

No

Ever say, "You make me get this angry," or "I can't help being so mad with you around"? *

Yes

No

Expect you to do everything s/he says? *

Yes

No

Threaten your immigrant status or keep you from learning English? *

Yes

No

Refuses you medical treatment? *

Yes

No

If you've answered yes to any of these questions, you are being treated badly. Signs of abuse like these may mean that you're not safe in your relationship - and it may get worse.

Does your partner …

Do you and your partner show each other how much you care and give each other space? *

Yes

No

Do you each have friends, interests, and activities of your own, and ones you share? *

Yes

No

Do you respect each other's privacy? *

Yes

No

Are you proud of each other's talents and accomplishments? *

Yes

No

If you answered yes to these questions, you may be feeling that your relationship is healthy and happy.

Does your partner …

Ignore or dismiss your ideas or the things you want to do? *

Yes

No

Stops you from going out or get jealous when you spend time with family or friends? *

Yes

No

Seem very overprotective or ask other people to watch over you? *

Yes

No

Want to be a part of everything you do? *

Yes

No

Call you all the time or stop by unexpectedly? *

Yes

No

Accuse you of flirting or getting romantically involved with someone else? *

Yes

No

Stops you from having money of your own or using the car? *

Yes

No

Talks badly or embarrasses you in front of others? *

Yes

No

Women On Maintaining Education and Nutrition